NOLAG Lans

For this week’s abandonware, we will be taking a look at Theme Hospital. As far as hospital management simulations go, you will find entries to be far and few between, which is likely a side-effect of the inherent subject matter you come to associate with such a location (does bed pan placement really require micromanagement?). With that said, Theme Hospital managed to prove that even the most depressing places can enjoyable when you are placed at the helm.

Considering that the game is from the same guys that brought you Dungeon Keeper 2 (another classic), you can expect this game to have a good sense of humor, which it most certainly does. While the ultimate goal of the game is to ensure that your patients are being cured (this is a hospital after all), the real strategy comes into play when figuring out how best to gouge them for money. Sure, you need to hire and manage the hospital’s garrison of doctors, nurses, and receptionists, but you will also be responsible for drink machine placement, bathrooms, and even the temperature of the hospital. While you can get bogged down in the micromanagement, which is in no way alleviated by your post-lobotomy staff AI, you will invariably be grateful for the level of control when faced with the ridiculous range of diseases of diseases you will go up against. Everything from a broken leg to Invisibility and Alien DNA will make an appearance as you struggle to keep you hospital on top of the every growing range symptoms and diseases. Be warned, the difficulty quickly ramps up in this game, but if you like a challenge and some good laughs, you can’t go wrong with this truly unique gem.

Download it here

in commemoration of NOLAG’s 1st birthday, we will be putting on a 3 day LAN Party (I apologize to all the readers who did not buy their pants from the thrift shop). Yes, a 3 day LAN Party. Now then, on to the details.

When:
It will begin at 7:00 P.M on May 1st and go until 2:00 A.M on May 3rd (Okay, so technically it will only last 31 hours, it will be spanning 3 days so it counts damn it!.). You are free to come and ago at any point during this time period, though please be sure to notify an executive when you go to leave (Trevor, Chewka or Nickel). I and the other executives will be their by 5:30 to begin setting up everything. If you would like to volunteer, please don’t arrive any earlier than 5:45.

Where:
The University of Manitoba Student Union’s Council Chambers located in the tunnels connecting University Center to the Helen Glass Nursing Center. It has a tile design of AOL men holding hands outside the door with the interior of the council chambers resembling a room that James Bond villains would order the launch of warheads from. It has a massive circular table with a donut-hole in the center and many wheeled chairs. Most parking is free at the University after 4:30, with virtually all spots not specifically labeled “24-hour reserved parking” being accessible (though if it says Monday-Friday under it, it’s fair game for you guys). Please don’t use the Parkade as they will charge you and due to the free parking elsewhere, it makes no sense to do so.

What Games:
We are focusing are support on the games listed below, though we do offer support for several others if their proves to be a sufficient demand from players at the LAN Party. Additionally, this list is very much subject to change due to the large number of big name games coming out in April, so please bear in mind that this list will likely be subject to change.

First-Person Shooters:
1. Team Fortress 2
2. Left 4 Dead

Real-Time Strategy:
1. Starcraft
2. Warcraft 3
3. Dawn of War 2
4. Age of Empires 2
5.. Stronghold Crusader

Turn-Based Strategy
1. Age of Wonders

*If you don’t have all of the games, please come anyway and we will figure something out

Food:

We will  be ordering Pizza Hotline at 9:30 P.M (on Friday, May 1st) with the cost being between $8.25 to $9.00 (depending on whether they have recently changed their prices/discount) for an Extra Large 2-topping Pizza. Additionally, if you choose to order Steak, the cost will increase by $1.00.We will also be ordering lunch from Degrees, a restaurant on the third floor at 12:30 P.M. (on Saturday May 2nd). Please be advised that it will likely take them around an hour to prepare the food depending on the order size, so please don’t expect to have your food by 12:45. We will be receiving a discount on the food for the purpose of this LAN Party. Finally, for Saturday evening, we will simply play that one by ear based on what people are in the mood for. As always, you guys are welcome to bring any snacks/energy drinks you want or buy them on campus after you’ve arrived, though alcohol is prohibited.

Rules & Regulations:

1. No Hacking/Cheating
2. No unauthorized roughhousing, brawling, dueling, office chair jousting, going Super-Saiyen, etc.
3. No Abusive/Grossly Inappropriate language (Be aware that due to the close proximity of gamers at the LAN Party, violations of this rule often results in subsequent violations of rule #2)
4. Keep smack talk to a minimum (See Rule #3)
5. No unauthorized handling of other attendees property
6. No inappropriate handling of your own property (Clothes stay on, no matter how hot the room gets)
7. No Alcohol on the premises (Tom: Hello Jim, what are you doing. Jim: Well Tom, I am drinking this liquid over several $1000’s worth of electronics that impairs my judgement and hand eye coordination…)
8. You must have had a shower within at least 24 hours of attending the LAN Party…no exceptions
9. Clean up all garbage you see (especially spills), we have been given an awesome room and would like to have it for future LAN Parties as well
10. No displaying of Pornographic materials (Yes, Starwars themed Hentai counts too)

A Note about Wireless Devices:
We are asking everyone to please, please not bring a wireless mouse or keyboard or any other wireless devices if at all possible (excluding Cell Phones). This is due to the fact that wireless signals often interfere with one another, resulting in limited functionality for users of similar wireless devices. Put in simple terms: 1 wireless device = , 2 or more wireless devices = CLUSTER F*CK

Entry Fee:
There will be a $5 dollar entry fee to get into the LAN Party. We don’t offer refunds (except for special cases). Please make our lives easier and pay with exact change/bills and don’t try to get us to break a $100 bill or any crazy crap like that for you. Upon paying, you will be issued a Login code to access our server software. Until you pay, you will not be issued a login code and thus, not allowed to access our central server.

Volunteer Opportunities:
We are looking for volunteers to help with directing people to the room, moving equipment, and acting as a door greeter/receptionist/bouncer, so if any of those positions appeal to you, please let us know as soon as possible. Additionally, we are encouraging everyone to take the initiative in encouraging others to attend the LAN Party, so if you have any friends or family that would be interested in attending, be sure to bring them along. As much as we try to advertise, in the end word of mouth is the most effective means of recruitment.

Contacting us during the LAN Party:
During the LAN Party, we won’t have access to the Internet (being a LAN Party and all), so if you really need to contact us, please email us before Friday afternoon. As an added benefit for those of you who have requested to be on the NOLAG mailing list, I have provided you with my cell phone number (which I trust you guys won’t abuse), so you can contact me at the LAN Party through that if you need to.

Transportation:
If anyone is having trouble with transportation to the LAN Party or after it, it’s very important that you contact us as soon as possible so that we can make arrangement for car-pooling or alternative transportation. It likely won’t be a problem if you tell us soon, but it may become more difficult if you wait until closer to the LAN Party date to contact us. Also, as previously stated, the LAN Party will be ending at around 2:00 A.M. Please bear that in mind when deciding on how you are going to get home. If you are relying on a ride from your parents, please bare in mind that unless they are borderline insomniacs and enjoy late night driving (like mine), than you may have to make alternative arrangements such as leaving a couple hours early. Additionally, please bear in mind that the Bus Services may end at 2:00, so don’t rely to much on taking the bus home. I will be able to carpool at most two people, home and we may be able to take a couple more, but please don’t rely on the LAN hosts for a ride home. With that said, we wholeheartedly support the bumming of rides off of friends, friend’s parents, friend’s siblings, friend’s Ex’s, etc.

I just wanted to thank everyone who came out to our Retro Game Night. It was a very fun time and a great trip down nostalgia lane. For those of you who weren’t able to make it, we will be probably be having one later this summer, so be sure to keep checking in.