NOLAG Lans

Have you ever wondered what would happen to the world if Hitler was killed by time travelling scientists before he had a chance to rise to power? No…yeah, me neither. That is the exact premise however, of Westwood’s 1996 Real-Time Strategy (RTS) smash hit, Command and Conquer: Red Alert. Though a sequel to the landmark RTS Command and Conquer (see the abandonware article here), the storylines are difficult at best to draw connections between. With the exception of a couple of hints being dropped in a few of the games many beautifully done cinematics, there is really nothing to connect the struggle between GDI and NOD of Command and Conquer (C&C) and the fallout created by time traveling present in Command and Conquer: Red Alert. What you do have however, is a damn fine game and this week’s Abandonware pick.

The Red Alert’s premise is that after the aforementioned time-travelling assassination, Joseph Stalin basically takes over the role of Hitler and invades Western Europe. While the merits of such a “what-if” scenario are highly debatable (and as a history major, I could argue somewhat reasonable), it suffices in doling out excuses to play as the game’s two factions, the Soviet Union and the Allies. The two factions, though comparative in play style, have wildly different tactics, with the Soviet Union favoring air power and heavy armor while the Allies favor speed, stealth, and Naval power. Despite Red Alert’s suito historical setting, the game is unafraid of introducing Tesla (Electrical) weapons, Time shifters, and a slew of other less than historical technologies.

As far as gameplay goes, Red Alert, follows the tried and true Command and Conquer (and most RTS games at the time for that matter) method of building up base, amassing an army, and kicking the other guy’s ass. While the game does make some innovations over the original like stuff that manipulates fog of war and weather anomalies being created from over use of time shifting, the game more or less sticks to the C&C formula with a few tweaks and a nice graphical facelift. With that said, the original C&C was an absolute kick ass game and everything that made it great is present in Red Alert as well. From the highly refined and polished gameplay to the amazing Frank Klepacki soundtrack (Red Alert’s song Hell March was featured on MTV and is still listened to today, especially in military circles), Red Alert is one of the few sequels that not only does its predecessor justice in every sense of the word, but expands and innovates the formula as well. If you are a fan of the newer C&C games or just and RTS fan in general, you owe it to yourself to play this game. Download it here.

I was looking through my copious amounts of cards yesterday and I recalled a conversation I had with a kid that I was teaching to play. This is the summary of that conversation.

Kid: this card looks really cool! I bet it’s awesome

Me: well it’s a 4/4 that costs 6 to lay down and it’s got no abilities

Kid: Oh, well what about this one? It looks ok

Me: That’s a lightning bolt. That is a great card

Kid: This one looks stupid

Me: That’s a basic land. You need those to play other cards

Kid: Nah, I’m not going to use any when I play

Me: KA-TISH! (KA-TISH! being the approximate sound of my hand leaving a bruise on my forehead)

What makes a good card? Obviously it has nothing to do with its name, its flavor-text, or its illustrations. So we must be basing these conclusions on its mana cost, color, spell type and effects. But that’s still a lot. I mean there are 1315 instants, 1467 enchantments, and over 5000 creatures! We need some rules to determine what makes a good card.

Lets start with some pretty obvious ones.

· Sorcery and instant cards total effects have a higher ratio to mana cost

o For those true math geeks, this is X:Y. X is benefit, Y is cost. X is bigger than Y

· Creatures have their Power + Toughness equal or greater to mana cost plus 2-3 (within reason)

o The reason means if I play 6 mana for a creature I sure as hell don’t want it to be a 5/1.

· Enchantments benefits have to be much greater than any negative effects that might occur as well as mana cost.

· Non-basic land must have useful abilities. Mana cost for them isn’t a big deal as long as it still produces mana on its own.

You may notice a theme here. As long as your bang (effects/results) doesn’t cost more than your buck (Land cost), then they are ok. So can we use these as standards for cards? Well unfortunately for us, this set of rules and any set we could revise this to will, like the English language, be completely screwed.

Here’s one example for each that breaks all of those rules.

Rule 1: Fireball. You don’t mess with this. XR for X damage. Pay 1 to get another target and you can now divide the original damage.

Rule 2: you may have noticed but enchantments have next to none drawbacks. The few that I can think of are the core of a deck which compensates for the drawback to the point of a win method. Mana costs are 3-5 on average. Good deals all around.

Rule 3: The unreleased land, Golden Lotus. It may come into play tapped, and you may have to sacrifice three lands, it may have shroud, it may sacrifice itself when it taps, but that 9 mana in any combo makes this a very nice land. It’s legendary though, so you can see some funny plays with it.

Now you may have noticed I did not put down any exception for creatures. The reason why is Creature Abilities. Just using the Core rules this list is as follows, Defender, Double Strike, Fear, First Strike, Flash, Flying, Haste, Landwalk, Protection, Regeneration, Trample, and Vigilance. These plus the ridiculous number of key words that have appeared over blocks has rendered creatures so freaking overly large, there pappies must have shat a brick when they were born. Creatures break their own rule just by existing. But then again, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Hey they did make Terror for a reason.

So back to the original question, what defines a good card? Well, it honestly seems to me that the days of a straight up good solid card are over. The days of 2 mana for a 2/2 no questions asked are over. We still have good cards, but now most are picked for their hidden value (the value that makes any good deck tick). This hidden value is what is known as the Combo value (or C value). The C value is basically how well this card works with other cards. This drives most of the needs of a card. Yes, card X may be good while card Y is slightly worse, but if Y works so much better with other cards, than it will be taken over X. So if that kid had known this, then he would have realized that really any card is good. Some just take longer to realized how good they made it (loxodon warhammer anyone?). Understand that (and I know I am going to get hate mail for this one) all cards have a purpose and to say a card sucks is harsh. While that card might not be great, it does serve a purpose of some sort.

Oh and just a nice going away present.

They’re re-printing lightning bolt….wow I can hear the nerdy cheers from here…..

Until next time,

Ryan

Before I start, I am going to assume that everyone reading this has at least a passing knowledge of the game Chess. For those of you that don’t, please go to Google and type into the search engine “Chess”, and read the first five results. Even if you don’t have an in-depth knowledge of the game, you must have remembered that growing up; the arrogant, rich kids always seemed to be the first to learn this game. Oh, look at me, I moved an oddly shaped piece of wood across a board of squares, both of which bear a “manufactured in China” engraving; I’m so refined. Considering I learned the game at the age of four, you would assume that I would be placed in this category along with overcompensating, snot-noses. To assume this would be false however, for what I played made these so-called “overachievers” look like the kids who decide to sleep at the base of the playground’s biggest slide. Hell, what I played even put the kids who played the Chessmaster line of games to shame, for I played Battle Chess 4000, a beautiful little title and this week’s abandonware game.

Battle Chess 4000, which was produced and published by Interplay in 1994, is actually the third in the popular Battle Chess series of games, but definitely the most graphically up to date of the titles and, in my opinion, by far the most entertaining. So what is Battle Chess 4000? Well, as the name implies, at its core its chess, plain and simple. The same traditional rules apply here, with Red and Blue replacing the traditional White and Black Colors and all the pieces are identical in play style. A graphical change is immediately apparent, as everything has a Sci-fi vibe to it, with Knights resembling Flash Gordon, Rooks as transforming robots, and pawns as slime like Martians. Additionally, the board is a semi-translucent and imposed over a star field.

What really sets this game apart from other chess games however, becomes apparent as soon as one piece captures another. Rather than one piece simply taking another’s place, the two pieces engage in a small battle animation layered with humor and pop culture references (everything from Monty Python to Rambo) that are very entertaining to watch. You will see everything from a knight defeating a queen with his garlic breath to an arms buildup between two Rooks ending with one tripping the other, causing him to be consumed in the explosion created by his weapons impacting the ground. All are entertaining and while you may bore of the game, I guarantee that you will keep playing just to see all the animations. Really, this game can be best compared to that crazy chess game briefly seen in Star Wars Episode IV, which was the vibe I got the first time I played this (later I learned that that scene served as the inspiration for the Battle Chess series).

As far as chess goes, you really can’t go wrong with this game, as it somehow manages to make the game better without sacrificing the time honored rules which make Chess so engaging to play to this day, despite their being so many other games being available now. You can download it here.

Now I know that any fan of Real-Time Strategy (RTS) worth his command lasso will know this game. The big C&C, released in 1995 by Westwood Studios for PC, and later to of all things, the N64, it quickly set the RTS world on fire. Using a game system similar to Westwood’s previous RTS hit, Dune 2, C&C was built upon sound game mechanics, with the player responsible for establishing a base, harvesting resources, and kicking the crap out of the opposing team(s). What set the game apart however, was that building were pre-constructed in a toolbar representing t mobile construction yard and then placed on the field, the game’s iconic resource, Tiberian, was toxic to infantry, and the two playable factions, GDI and NOD, were very different. Unlike previous RTS games, where factions were very similar *cough* Warcraft: Orcs & Humans *cough*, the Global Defense Initiative (GDI) and Brotherhood of NOD were not only sharply divided, with GDI favoring heavy, slow units while NOD focused on fast vehicles and stealth technology, but well defined in terms of lore, with GDI representing the united military forces of the world and NOD as a united terrorist organization led by the iconic Kane, who uses misinformation and Tibierian in the hopes of world domination. Okay, so the story was definitely cheesy, but the live action cinematic videos worked damn it, and the story still continues in EA’s recent Command and Conquer: Tiberian Wars game.

Beside the excellent and atmospheric gameplay, the soundtrack stood head and shoulders above other games of the time and arguable, still does today. Composed by the now legendary game musician Frank Klepacki, C&C’s epic industrial and electronic tracks added to the game’s atmosphere and pumped you up to go kick some NOD ass (I was always GDI for the record). The music was much more than the traditional 16 bit tracks of the consoles and, despite the game having been released 15 years ago, has still earned its place in my mp3 alongside the Unreal Tournament(s) soundtracks.

There isn’t really much else to say. If you have ever enjoyed an RTS, you owe it to yourself to check out this game, as the rich atmosphere, iconic units and lore, and grade A kick-ass soundtrack will be well worth your time. Sure, the game mechanics have certainly come a long way since 1995, but for any fan of the new Command & Conquer 3: Tiberian Wars, the soundtrack certainly hasn’t (the writer of this article recognizes the awesomeness that is the soundtracks of everything up to and including Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2). The only question you need to ask yourself now is why have you not started downloading it already? To download click here